Is It Just Me?

So rarely do the kids sleep long enough that I get to catch any sort of news in the morning before I'm bombarded with breakfast requests, dirty diapers, and getting everyone dressed, but this morning happened to be an exception.  I used to watch the Today Show every morning in college while getting ready for classes.  I enjoyed the humor and upbeat, although quite liberal, viewpoints of Matt Laurer and Katie Couric.  So, when I get a chance, I grab a cup of coffee and catch up on the news.  Even if is is now Meredith Viera

One of Today's guests was comedian, actress, and author, Whoopi Goldberg.  She recently had her book "Is It Just Me? Or Is It Nuts Out There?" published and was sharing some details.  In her interview with Matt, he cuts right to controversial point in her book where (and as I have not read and refuse to purchase her book, a loose translation) she actually suggests we should teach our children to say the f-word instead of "idiot" or "stupid."  She claims that the f-word has no meaning to her, therefore it doesn't hurt to hear it.  She claims that telling a child they are stupid cuts deeper than if they were to be sworn at using the f- word.

Really?

I'm not sure I can share in her line of logic here.  Correction:  I ABSOLUTELY cannot share in her line of logic.  I'm all for teaching children to be respectful to others and promoting programs that arm children with tools for dealing with bullies.  I realize Americans are more conservative in their usage of the f*bomb than countries such as England and the rest of Europe, so I certainly don't feel the following consersations will take place in Suburbia anytime soon.


Mother:  Johnny, when you go to school today, I don't want you using the word "stupid" when you talk to your friends.


Johnny:  Ok, mom...  I won't.  I promise.  But what's wrong with saying "stupid?"


Mother:  Well, Johnny, when we call our friends "stupid" it really hurts their feelings.  If someone is called "stupid" over and over again, it can really deflate their self-esteem.


Johnny:  But what if someone is really acting stupid?  What should I say instead?


Mother:  Well, I was reading this book, and I've decided you should tell other kids to "go f* yourself" or "you're f-in' ridiculous" instead.  Because hearing "f- you" isn't going to hurt their feelings like being told they are stupid will.


Johnny:  I always thought saying the f-word was a bad word.  Can I say the other f-word too?


Mother:  Johnny!!  No!!  Fart is still a naughty word!!


Logic??  I think not!

Now, I did attempt to read through the excerpt posted on MSN, but the grammar and lack of substance had me skimming, looking for anything of real "meat and potatoes."  Sadly, I found none.  Rambling through a paragraph of text that reads as if it's being quoted from "The View" does not leave me feeling as if I've read some really sound advice or view.  Sure, I can agree that a tough stand on drunk driving should be in full force.  However, when the writing doesn't have a measure of intelligence, it's difficult to stand on common ground.  Now, I'm not trying to bash Whoopi here.  Not my point.  I'm simply trying to say that if you have published material where you come out swinging with both fists, it should at least sound intelliegent and a little more formal.

The following is quoted from the synopsis on Barnes and Noble's website.

"Have you noticed that things aren’t as civil as they once were? Or that rudeness is no longer an exception but a lifestyle? Sure you have. All you need to do is set foot outside your door to see that bad manners are taking over everywhere."

Based on that segment there, how can she possibly make the arguement that the f-word is a far better way to tell someone they're stupid?  Wouldn't that be considered the opposite of civil and thought to be vulgar and rude?

Hhhhmmmm, Whoopi....  don't you think it might be better to teach children not to name-call instead of replacing their vernacular with language that most consider to be quite inappropriate??

Long Time, No See

Yes, it's been nearly a year since my last blog post but I think I'm going to start keeping it up again.  Here's the short list of what's happened since last October....

November 2009:

Continual work on the upstairs of our home.  (Reminder: this is a home we were renting, with plans to buy in a few years)  Projected completion date:  Thanksgiving.  Shawn turns 29.  Ellie is still sleeping through the night.  Mommy potty trains Alexandar, making one less child to diaper.

December 2009:

Continual work on the house.  New projected completion date: Christmas.  Alexandar turns 3 on December 4th, which was celebrated by a trip to Crossroads Village to ride the train.  I directed our church Christmas Play, to which the community was invited and we had an awesome turnout!!  Daddy played a Shepherd with Benjamin as his sheep, Isabelle sang and was an angel, and Ellie was Baby Jesus.  Alexandar?  Why, he threw a fit and wouldn't participate as a sheep.  Christmas celebrated with my side of the family at my parents' house.  Ellie and Isabelle receive matching Christmas outfits.  Ellie has decided to stop sleeping all night, and instead, she wants to nurse.

January 2010:

Continued work on the house.  New completion date:  Carpet in by Valentine's day???  Ellie starts rolling over.  Benjamin celebrates his 2nd birthday with a quiet party at home.  Why so quiet?  He napped most of the afternoon!  Isabelle continues to progress well in school, enjoying her new skills learned weekly that assist her in decoding words to read!  She aces nearly every spelling test.  Saying the year as Twenty Ten or Two Thousand Ten is debated.

February 2010:

Carpet installed!!!  Projected to complete in 2 days, but it took all week.  Mommy was sick and the installers were vulgar.  Now plumbing and electricity need to be completed before moving upstairs.  Mommy and Daddy go out for Valentine's Day and drive around to 5 different restaurants before finding one with a wait time less than 3 hrs.  Ate McDonald's fries while we waited.  =)  Ellie starts on solid foods, and enjoys her carrots, as did her brothers.

March 2010:

We finally move all bedrooms upstairs!!!!!!  (I orginally stopped with 2 !! but decided it deserved a few more.)  Bathroom upstairs still needs some finishing before we can use it.  Alexandar and Benjamin love their new room, but are not easily convinced that monsters are indeed NOT hiding in their closet.  Ellie refuses green vegetables, making a face and literally crying when fed to her.  Mommy finds matching Easter dresses for her girls.  Beginning of the month- wearing hats and gloves?  March 31- outside in short sleeves!

April 2010:

Ellie celebrates her 1st Easter, however, she doesn't receive any candy from the Easter bunny.  She is fully sitting unsupported all of the time now.  We learn that our original plans to purchase the home Shawn just remodeled are not to be so.  The plans begin for home ownership and many discussions ensue between living in the area or moving south to St. Johns.  (Isabelle attends school there and her mom lives there.)  Temporary plans are made to live with Shawn's mom, who drives truck over the road and isn't home much, leaving her home vacant much of the time.  Isabelle is still acing her spelling tests.  Shawn saves us from home invasion by a Banana.

May 2010:

Box after box is packed and prepared for storage.  The house hunting begins.  Many tears, confusion, and hurt feelings are dealt with as we prepare for our move after our hopes and dreams and squashed.  The kids attend the Highland Festival and enjoy the parade.  Ellie sleeps through the sirens.  She begins her unique crawl- she refuses to crawl on her knees, but uses her feet instead.  However, she isn't quite coordinated enough at the beginning and drags one knee, always her right.  Green veggies are now allowed in her diet.  Alexandar and Benjamin still adore their sister.  Isabelle is getting anxious for school to be over.

June 2010:

We have a girl officially done with 1st grade!  Alexandar and Isabelle can't wait to jump in the pool.  Ellie decides she loves the water after her first time in, and Benjamin continues to play in the sand instead.  We make our first trip to the Splash Park in Mt. Pleasant.  House hunting continues, and we begin to adjust to living somewhere different.  Both boys repeatedly ask to go to "their real house" and call it home everytime we pass by it.  (It was unavoidable to go by it, as it sits next door to my parents' home.)  Mommy still wants to cry when we pass it, too.

July 2010:

We journey via bike and bugger to downtown St. Louis for the big fireworks display.  All love them, but start to cover their ears due to the sound.  Alexandar starts going through the night without a diaper.  House hunting drags on.  Benjamin starts wanting to go pee on the potty, and does so once while wearing only Isabelle's headband.  Mr. Ben also enjoys playing with the traffic cones, calling them "hups" but naming himself "Cone Head" when viewing the picture Mommy took of him wearing a cone on his head.  Ellie starts taking her first steps.  Isabelle jumps in the pool every chance she gets.

August 2010:

Mommy and Daddy celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary.  Isabelle, Alexandar, and Benjamin all attend Bible School and love it!  Nana and Papa take Izi and Alexandar camping for a few days, and then the rest of us decide to join them, journeying to Mackinaw.  By now, we've made 2 offers on houses and didn't get them.  Benjamin wants nothing to do with "big boy pants."

September 2010:

Isabelle begins 2nd grade.  We celebrate Ellie's 1st birthday and officially have a 3, 2, and 1 year old in the house.  We place another offer on a house and quickly change our minds and remove it.  House hunting is put on hold and we drive off to spend a day relaxing.  Incidentally, on the same day we stumble on a house that we LOVE, quickly call our realtor, and decide to put an offer on the house.  After waiting a week, we learn our offer was accepted!!!  Lots of paperwork later, and there is still more to be done.  We know, however, the right house was found and God has had His hand in it all along.

October 2010:

Well, seeing as how it's just the 2nd of October...  not much has happened.  We did spend all afternoon at the park and attend Isabelle's school for the Fall Festival.  We continue to wait on an official closing date and take all the next steps necessary to home ownership.

Ella Elizabeth Graham

I had originally planned on writing this right after she was born so I didn't forget any details, however, life took over and here we are, nearly 7 weeks later. Don't remind me that 7 is close to 8, which in turn means my Ellie is nearly 2 months old already. So, here is the scoop on her birth.

September 10, 2009 ~ 5:00 AM

My alarm goes off. I couldn't eat after 6, so I was getting up early to eat something with lots of protein to get me through the day.

5:28 AM

Still in bed. 5 AM is too early to be getting up

5:40 AM

I finally get up because I know I have to eat and drink something. 2 slices of peanut butter toast are the verdict.

10:30 AM

By now, I am dying of thirst. Of all the coolness we've had over the summer, this day just has to be one of the hottest. I'm trying not to move too much and we're making the final preparations to leave by 11.

11:00 AM

We meet up with my parents and take off for our drive down to Lansing. As it was a scheduled c-section, I needed to arrive by noon for the prep work and our time slot was 2 PM.

Sparrow

Seriously?!? Do the nurses and anesthesiologists not compare notes? I was asked the same questions by 3 different people. Not that I have, but honestly... how many people are going to admit in front of their mother that they used illicit drugs during their pregnancy? I'm guessing... not too many! Amazingly, everything was running smoothly and I even made it down to the surgical room a little early. The anesthesiologist was excellent and was very professional and made sure I was very comfortable. In surgery, everyone acts a little different, a little more relaxed and personable. I learned the anesthesiologist and my doctor have children the same age who play on a flag football team together. I'm sure not every surgery is so relaxed, but when they know there aren't complications and it's planned....

So I later learned from my husband that when they have done the spinal and everything is supposed to be numb and they do a feel test to make sure it's taken effect.... yeah, they made the first cut. Yikes! My favorite comment by far while on the operating table, as it were, was "Yeah, she's a lot skinnier than most." I may have been a little out of it, but when I looked at Shawn for confirmation, he was like, "Yep, you heard them correctly." Would have been the thing that made my day, except that it was the same day my baby girl was born and nothing could have topped that!

She arrived in the world at 3:08 PM rather quietly, not unlike her big brother Benjamin. While we were still in the surgical room, she really started trying to suck on her blanket and even turned her little head towards daddy's chest as he held her. It simply amazes me that though she'd never nursed, she already knew exactly what to do and where she needed to go for it. Once we were in recovery, I took her and she did nurse a little. However, I was so tired and still not quite with it, that she did have some formula. That is a downside to having a c-section is that you have many more drugs than even an epidural that holding your newborn for awhile is just impossible. I certainly do not regret my decision to have a scheduled c-section because Benjamin had to be born c-section after trying to deliver and him turning sideways, and I felt it was the safest for both her and I. As I type this, she is sleeping peacefully in her bed next to me and I wouldn't change a thing.

Her Name

This is something very special to me and I chose it long before I was pregnant. It just came to me one day and I really don't even remember why or how. Ella is my grandmother's first name and she and I were very close. I was the first grandchild and spent most of my first week at her house with my mom. She has now been gone nearly 9 years now, but I still think of her very often and wish she could meet her great-grandchildren. Elizabeth is my mom's first name. I don't know what I would do without my mom. Each of our children have a part of their name after a family member, but Ellie's full name comes from two very special ladies. I'm just starting to be able to tell people, who don't already know, the origin of Ellie's name and why we chose it without getting too emotional. We are still mostly calling her Ellie as it is a bit difficult to call her Ella just yet. I'm sure though that as she gets older she'll be hearing "Ella Elizabeth!" when she gets into trouble!! If she grows up with the godly, compassionate, loving, generous (I could go on and on here) spirit that the heritage of her name holds, she will truly be a phenomenal lady.

With all my heart, I love you, my precious Ellie. Happy birth-day.

Not Me! Monday... err, Tuesday

Ok, so I'm trying something a little new.... out of the box, never done this before. Get the idea? Click on over to MckMama's blog to get the full idea and maybe you'll feel inspired!

I did not allow my 2 1/2 year old son to run around my parents' pool sans diaper, meanwhile, a complete stranger was over. Nor did I laugh out loud when he went over to the metal wash bowl where a few frogs had become stranded and pee directly in the water and then announce that "I peed on the frogs!"

Also, I absolutely did not scratch the underside very pregnant belly while out in public with my husband, for our anniversary, no less... and continue scratching when he made a comment simply because I was uncomfortable and did not care in the least.

Nor would I ever send my child to bed in a t-shirt that he had stained during the day because I was too tired to fight him over taking it off. Nope, absolutely Not Me!

Baby Update

Last week I had a doctor's appointment-- my normal 32 week appointment. However, this appointment revealed much information. The last time I had gone to the doctor at 28 weeks, I did my glucose testing for gestational diabetes. This revealed that my blood sugar was actually low and that my iron levels were low. They asked me to start taking iron pills (which I have been doing on and off). I didn't know how low my blood sugar was though until I went to the doctor this time, and he told me I was borderline hypoglycemic. Ah ha! That explains why I feel so weak and dizzy when it's been a few hours since I've eaten. He also discovered that Baby Girl Graham is breech. Considering how late in the game we are and that Benjamin turned sideways during delivery, the chances of her turning around are not very high. (Speaking of which, she is turning somersaults in my belly as I type.... does she know she's being talked about??) Which again, explains a lot... like why I am so uncomfortable, out of breath all the time, and why she looks so high. The one thing we want to remain low, my blood pressure, still is! I think it was around 105/64???

Despite the fact that mommy is having some issues, she is doing great! When the nurse checked her heartbeat we were touching my belly and her heart was racing about 20 beats per minute higher than normal. When we stopped "messing with her," it returned to where it should be, and then went way up as soon as we touched her again. It was very cool to see how she responded to touch, even in utero, which made me realize how much we all need human contact on a daily basis.

I had also pretty much decided to go with another c-section, and with her breech, it seems likely that that'll be my only option. Funny, I was ok with a c-section until learning that it might be my only choice. So, as of right now, we are set to deliver on September 10, 2:00 PM. I still think that she'll decide to come earlier than that, and I hope so. I really wanted to schedule for 9/9/09 but the schedule was already full. I hope she comes on that day just to say "HA HA!" =)

Independently Innocent

This past Fourth of July is the first one I can remember in a long time that we haven't been out of town. We spent the day with family while Shawn worked on the house and my parents did some odd and end jobs around their house. First of all, however, we started the day off right.... blueberry pancakes and bacon outside.... just as if we were camping. =)

Behind my parents house is a rather large area dug out and filled with sand. The previous owners of their house had a large swingset placed in that spot. It had become overgrown and needed cleaning out, which my dad had completed the day before. Well, after a little encouragement, Alexandar fell in love with the sand. He did not fall in love with the feeling of sand all over him. Which caused him to strip down not just to his diaper, but completely down to nothing! I won't post the pictures I took of him on here, butt (yes, misspelled on purpose) they were quite cute. He threw sand all over and and greatly enjoyed the shovel. That boy spent the greater part of his day in the sand. He enjoyed pulling the wagon all over and we had to convince him that was best left to the back yard and not in the front!

Which is when it really struck me that he is so innocent at this young age. He has no embarrassment of walking around without any clothes and is completely comfortable going pee pee on the tree in front of everyone. (No, daddy didn't teach him to do this.... I did, surprisingly enough, as I didn't want him to realize he had that ability for awhile. But, being out in the sand sans all clothing, I figured it was the lesser of the two evils: pee in the sand or on the tree.) His pure innocence is something I wish he could hold onto forever, but knowing that's impossible, I'll settle for the smile it brings to my face when I see him strip down to nothing. He's like his mama, I'm told, as I did the same thing at his age!

Home at last... soon!

I have been rather stressed out lately about our housing situation. Our house now is less than 900 square feet. With 3 children now and one more on the way, we needed to find something bigger. We aren't quite ready to buy a house yet and didn't really want to move into another rental for a few years before we purchased a home, but couldn't find another option. Until my parents' purchased their house. It was all approved and we were going to be moving into the parsonage for a few years. However, the details didn't all work out and we were back to square one. We had pretty much decided to just stay in this house and save the hassle of moving, but God had another plan.

Why is it that we as humans think we need to be in control of everything and that God certainly couldn't handle a problem so big as a large enough home for us? For a few days, I was at peace about where we would live and put it in God's hands, but then I really started to have doubts and was very upset that our previous plan didn't work out. But God had a reason for that. He had a more perfect plan that we could have never imagined.

See, there is a man in Ithaca who believes in God, but tried to take care of everything himself. On Tuesday, April 28th, he told his wife he just couldn't do it all anymore and was going to give it to God. His problem? He has a large, 2 story, 4 bedroom house that no one is living in right now and in his retirement years, doesn't feel he has the energy to keep up with it anymore. Where is this house you ask? Well, it is about 2 acres away from my parent's new home. On Thursday, April 30th, he tells his wife he just feels he should go by and see if he can meet his new neighbor. As luck would have it, my dad and Alexandar are outside on the quad and he introduces himself. He lets my dad know that he doesn't live in that house, he and his wife live in town. He's been thinking about renting it out, but didn't want to post anything because he wanted to get someone good in there. Hmmmm..... my dad then responds by saying that his daughter and son-in-law were possibly looking for something, but hadn't really decided what their plans were. Are you seeing where this is going? Good. You are smart. You can certainly catch on quickly. However, there is sooo much more to the story.

See, while this house has new siding and almost all new windows, it does not have an updated inside. The carpet is shag, and the wallpaper and all the coloring is from the 50s-70s era. What makes this story absolutely amazing is that the owner wants it all updated and Shawn is phenominal at all of the building "stuff." But it gets even better. We (but mostly I) have free reign as to what we want to do and HE WILL PAY FOR THE MATERIALS. But it gets even better. (I hope you aren't tired of reading that, because there is at least one more of those) Shawn will also be paid for all of his time he spends working on the house, including some of the lawn care. (Did I mention there are a couple of out buildings sitting on 6 acres?) Our rent money is not needed to make a mortgage payment, so if we work off our rent in the month, we don't owe anything. But it gets even better. (Told ya) At first, when he spoke to my dad, he was not interested in selling it. However, once talking to us, he thinks in a few years he might want to sell. Oh yes, and our rent will go towards the down payment.

See? God had a perfect plan. We can certainly see this house as our first home. The kids went nuts over the property and Isabelle is old enough to understand that we will be living next to Nana and Papa. What's nice is that there is plenty of land between the two homes, so we neither of us feel like we're living on top of the other. I could have never dreamed that I would get to live in our first house before we were able to purchase it, totally redesign it and update it, have someone else foot the bill, AND pay us to do it.

Thank you God. We are so blessed.